Why stalking victims tend to become their own Advocates.

The victim and her husband ran a fairly successful mobile karaoke business in both in the outskirts as well as Honky Tonk/tourist bars in downtown Nashville as a hobby/side job. During one of these performances one of the customers in the bar performed, and the victim’s husband being the nice guy he was started introducing him to other karaoke regulars in the bar, trying to make him feel welcome.

On another night, this newcomer decided to give the victim a $100 tip. When she went to him to explain that was too much, and he must have thought he gave her a ten instead of the hundred. He smiled and told her she was basically worth it and then went up on stage to perform one of his songs. This subject then sent her a request on MySpace, [my wife won’t even let me on Facebook], and like most of their other customers and associates, she accepted his request, and thought nothing of it. Not long after that, the then soon to be stalker, began “flirting” with the victim. She advised him to stop sending these types of contacts, and that she was happily married and not the least bit interested in him or anyone else; especially after he started making comments about her husband being too old for her and asking her if she wanted children. Once she made it clear she wasn’t interested, he began making negative comments about her appearance as well as other demeaning sayings. Once her husband saw these, the stalker was deleted and blocked on the account. The victim recalled, she had very little contact with the stalker when he initially came into their world. Once the stalker was blocked, he would show up to some of the shows, but would not sing; however, the victim said he would just stand in the crowd glaring at me like he was trying to burn a hole through me.

One night he casually walked up to the victim’s husband and calmly greeted him saying “how is it going, like nothing had happened.” When the victim’s husband confronted him about the rude and demeaning messages, he had sent his wife, he responded saying that he had a crazy ex-girlfriend who knew how to hack into his social media sites.

The victim didn’t see or hear from the stalker for about a month when he showed up at a bar they were working at that was thirty minutes outside of Nashville. The upset victim immediately told the bar management about her stalker and she wanted him removed. Even though the victim had a concealed carry permit, she had left her gun in her car because the bar was a no firearms allowed location. While she attempted to hide from her stalker, she watched as management started to move to remove the stalker from the premises. During that time, he had walked behind her husband, pulled out a 45 Cal. semi-auto from underneath his shirt, and shot her husband pointblank range seven times once in the back of the head, and six more in his torso while he lay on the stage, killing him instantly. As he attempted to flee, he was tackled by a Marine who was in the crowd and held for responding law enforcement.

This particular type of stalker would be classified as an Erotomanic type stalker. This was a term coined years ago to describe a stalker who delusionally felt that his or her victim had a relationship with them, or was in love with them, when of course this was not true. These types of stalkers usually do not stop their stalking behavior because they are continually trying to fulfill their delusion.

The victim’s stalker was prosecuted and sentenced to prison for a number of years. However, initially unbeknownst to the victim he had immediately began writing love letters along with other commentary and mailing to her then attorney, who had kept her out of the loop for a period of years, until in the last few years, he made her aware of them. This not only caused the victim pain and despair, but a great deal of fear, because he was set to get an early release for “good behavior” in just a few more years, and she was deathly afraid he would continue coming after her. [ In my opinion that would be the case.] This is when she started her own campaign to get her stalker prosecuted again for stalking her from prison. Due to her continued efforts, she was able to get the Federal Prosecutors office involved, and they prosecuted him for felony stalking which got him and additional five years, with no chance of parole in a federal prison. She was also instrumental in getting a law passed in which a stalker could be served with a lifetime order of protection in the state of Tennessee. If violated, and hopefully said violation would also include an additional stalking charge, but if not the mere violation of the order itself would amount to a class A misdemeanor, which in of itself could hopefully generate some tough consequences.

Folks, I see this time and time again. Way too often, the victim has to go after the help he or she (primarily she) needs to get the requisite results. Because of the way we investigated stalkers and assisted our victims that never happened; however, for most folks their cases are not taken on by a Threat Management Unit or Family Protection Unit like we had.

So, if you are victim of stalking, be ready to fight for what you need to at least slow down and hopefully rid yourself of your stalker. (Once again, my latest book, Antidote For A Stalker (Amazon) will help you do that.)

Appearance on The Tegan Alexandra Osmond Channel/All About Stalking & Criminal Harassments, by Det. Mike Proctor

Tegan, a stalking victim, reached out to me to ascertained that even though she currently did not have a huge channel would I be interested in being interviewed on the topic of stalking and threat assessment. Hopefully, Tegan quickly learned that I could care less about how the information got out to folks about the topic of stalking, I could care less how it gets out as long as it is conducted in a positive and informative format. Oftentimes, I will explain to folks who contact me to appear on the topic, that even though I have appeared on several media and network shows, I am not a celebrity, I am merely a retired homicide detective that has been investigating and teaching and consulting on stalking cases for the past twenty years, and was one of the first person to start doing so back in the early 1990’s not 1890’s like some people have kidded me about.

The show was released on YouTube on 06-28-2021. (https://www.youtube.com/watchpv=1650OYO.ony), or you can just type in All About Stalking and Criminal Harassments, which usually brings it up. Tegan first lays out some of my background concerning the issue of stalking, which might bore you, but both she and I are hoping the rest of the information will assist you.

A New Device That Could Be Utilized To Track Stalking Victims Has Appeared

Apple has again created another device to be utilized with their latest iPhone. This new item is called an Apple AirTag. It is a device about the size of a maybe a quarter that can be placed amongst your luggage, in a person, or unfortunately, secreted somewhere in your vehicle. It appears to have been developed to be a locater for your stuff, so in case you lost it or misplaced it you can track it and find same. Unfortunately, some have commented that it can also be utilized by stalkers in an attempt to track you as well. Keeping in mind that there are other devices that can be utilized by stalkers with new ones hitting the market all the time, but we thought we would just make you aware of this one. Obviously, Apple did not develop this product to enhance a stalker’s efforts. However, I would suggest that you may want to read up on the AirTag. I found one on a site entitled The Conversation, which seemed to discuss the new AirTag at some length. They advise that the AirTag, in optimal conditions can transmit up to a 100 meters; however, from what I can tell, they advise that it is not actually a device that generates GPS coordinates, but can allow the person who has the device App on their iPhone to still get a fairly accurate direction where to go look for whatever the device is attached to.

I should tell you that I am not a computer genius, nor am I an owner of an IPhone, so obviously, I am no where near being a tech expert; nor am I really a fan of all this new stuff that keeps tabs on all of us. I am a Boomer so I really like keeping things simple, but I don’t appreciate stalkers, nor do I like that so much of these new tracking devices really help them way too much in going after their targets.

Just so you know, one of my boys is pushing me along with some other folks into generating a new stalking blog where I actually get to talk to out their in computerland. So, when I get a bit more time, I guess I am actually going to sit down and do it, hopefully reaching out to more folks on stalker prevention.

Genetic research is finding it’s law enforcement niche.

Even though, I am considered an expert in the field of stalking and threat assessment, I was a cop for over thirty-four years, twelve of those years in homicide. In fact, in November of 2018, I was able to present one of my last Cold Case homicides, a no-body case that took place in 1988 to the Orange County D.A.’s Cold Case team which was accepted for filing. I have at least two more active cold case homicides that I am still involved with, so, basically, once you are in homicide for any length of time, its involvement never seems to leave you.

The reason I bring all this up, is because of the newest tool that law enforcement has just recently engaged to assist them in both recent and cold cases that have any DNA evidence generated by the suspect(s). This all kind of began in my mind when the Golden State Killer case was solved utilizing DNA from the suspect, a once cop, whose DNA signature was developed by Parbon Nanolabs, and a genetic history that lead to the killer extrapolated by one Ce Ce Moore, now the star on ABC’s series The Genetic Detective. Back in the day, I can remember attending briefings on the Golden State Killer, who at that time had been active in the Irvine area as well as various other cities in California.

Prior to leaving formal police work back in November of 2004, my partner and I had no cold cases where DNA evidence was left behind by any suspects. Parbon and Ce Ce, were not on the radar until 2018. However, I was just advised by a homicide detective that proceeded us, that he did have a current homicide with DNA evidence, with no matches in CODIS (Combined DNA Index System-a federal database where criminal DNA is registered.) He was able to reach out to Parbon and Ce Ce, and as “luck” would have it, had a suspect match in a short period of time. His suspect lived in the city, and had no criminal record. Not going into specifics, case is still being adjudicated.

I really like the fact, that the DNA combined with the ancestry hunters like Ce Ce Moore  have progressed in this direction. I truly hope, it helps solves a great many more outstanding cases out in the world.

Stalking Laws in India, may need a re-think.

Over the years, I have received requests from potential stalking victims for assistance from countries that either did not have stalking laws in place, or if that country did, it appeared in many situations, either tended to ignore them, or were untrained in how to investigate a specific case. I am particularly frustrated by victim contacts from countries where stalking and domestic violence, are never addressed due to how women are looked at within those countries. I can name several, but Mexico, most if not all Communist countries, and many Arab countries come to mind; primarily those with Sharia law in place. It becomes even more problematic when a victim has obtained a copy of my latest book, Antidote For A Stalker (Amazon), and has read how they can assist law enforcement with their case, and what we would like to see law enforcement do on a specific case, and they find that when they try to do this, there is no where for them to turn, not even when the printed directions are there.

Trust me, I will go out of my way if at all possible to assist a victim by contacting the agency that they are dealing with and offer my expertise and assistance; as well as a copy of our Stalking Investigative Protocol, which is about twenty-one pages in length, but when followed should generate a successful prosecution.

All that being said, India was one of the countries that I received a number of victim requests for assistance. These folks included a physician, a PhD, and several other well educated women that were both frustrated and concerned with their stalking issues and others that they knew of. At first, India did not have a stalking law, but it appears that in 2013, Section 354D was added to India Criminal code, which covered stalking. Like me you can Google the definition, which in my opinion does not go far enough under its’ coverage; especially, who can be a victim of stalking. First, off, it only covers woman being stalked by a man, which is a step in the right direction, but doesn’t go anywhere near where it should be. First of all, we know that the vast majority of stalking is Intimate Partner or domestic violence related; however, women do stalk men; as well as same sex partners do stalk as well. So, it kind of leaves out a pretty good junk of the population. Also, the law does not cover family members or significant others. Stalkers will oftentimes go after these folks to get to their primary target. So, again, in my humble opinion, India, needs to take another look at their current legislation.

Now, to my last point, even with the legislation on the books, I am still getting requests from folks from India about their law enforcement agencies not being willing to work their cases. Now, in all fairness, I get those complaints from victims in my country as well as those in countries that usually are supposed to be better up to speed on stalking. One of the biggest reasons for some victims not getting assistance from the U.S. and other U.K. and European Countries with existing laws, is training, not necessarily that law enforcement is blowing them off. Unfortunately, I do run across that type of attitude as well. In the United States, where we have about 7.5 million folks stalked annually, only 5-16% of all stalking cases are prosecuted as stalking because oftentimes stalking incorporates lessor crimes so many times detectives will submit one of those crimes for prosecution, and move on to another case they have pending. Again, in my opinion, that is merely a lack of training, and direction.

In closing, I would hope that if a country does not have stalking legislation, they get it, and when they do, the people charged with assisting the victims of said stalking, actually do something about it.





Stalking on the Increase in our Military

I have known for years, that stalking is a large issue within the ranks of our military. A recent study from the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, titled “An Examination of Stalking Experiences During Military Service Among Female and Male Veterans and Associates With PTSD and Depression,” is just another verifier of this issue. The study indicates that approximately 58.5 % compared to about 37.2 % of males were plagued by an individual generating stalking behaviour towards them. This oftentimes lead to the victims experiencing Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as well as depression in many cases.


I am continually trying to get training to not only those that are charged with investigating stalking within the ranks, but to the fine men and women who protect this great country. Unfortunately, it has been an up-hill battle. Hopefully, we will start making progress in the near future.

A Strange Attachment

Just so you might better understand what I mean when we use the term attachment when discussing a stalking scenario, let me explain. Whenever a stalker decides to actually begin stalking a specific target, I refer to this as the unfortunate moment a stalker begins or attaches his or her desires to that specific individual.


Not too long ago, I received a phone call from a private high-dollar civil attorney, which is not uncommon. However, I thought this contact was somewhat unusual because the attorney had obtained my name from one of the defense attorney’s I would oftentimes go up against when I was a robbery, homicide detective. Funny, how that works.

The attorney had been retained by a successful Hollywood tour company that specialized like several did in finding where celebrities either resided or had locations they frequented so they could drive-by these locations and do whatever presentation they had gleaned from their “research” on that particular celebrity estate.

Apparently, during one of these tours, the guide had pointed out a specific residence and stated it belonged to a well-known female celebrity. Either the tour guide had pointed out the wrong residence, or had not done his homework on same because it turned out that particular dwelling did not belong to that celebrity or any other for that matter.

Unfortunately, one of the tour’s passengers had a major fixation on this particular celebrity and more than likely had joined the tour with the ulterior motive of having her home pointed out to him. This encounter caused this individual to immediately attach to that property because a day later that same subject showed up at the estate that he had been told belonged to his celebrity, and somehow got onto the grounds and attempted to gain entry into the residence. Even though he was told by the present owner the person he sought never lived there he continued his attempts even after he had been contacted and admonished by local law enforcement. The obsessed fan was finally taken into custody when he confronted and assaulted the owner whilst trying one more time to forcibly gain entry.

Now you might be able to understand why I was being contacted by this barrister. So, during several of the fan’s entry attempts he advised the frustrated owner, that he was positive that the female actress in fact lived at this home because the tour guide had told him so, and he would not lie about something like that. Therefore, the owner of the residence who had been plagued by this clown had decided to sue for damages.

I have no idea how this action played out. After giving the attorney some advise, I stepped back from the case.  Now, you can see just how easy it is for someone, more than likely with a mental disorder to attach to a specific target.


Why we oftentimes charge stalkers with burglary, when they don’t actually take anything.

On 04-19-18, I got a request for a consult by a newspaper reporter who had been following the trial of a stalker who had stalked a female off and on for over thirty years. The stalker was currently on trial for multiple counts of aggravated stalking. The reporter described the elements of the case in depth advising that she had never heard of a stalker doing any of the things that this individual had done. After she was done, I explained that one of the reasons I have always enjoyed investigating and consulting on stalking cases was because these individuals were just so weird, and I learn something new on every case I take on.

The reporter said that the stalker advised law enforcement when he was contacted and finally arrested that they needed to get a hold of the victim so that he could send her some of his sperm to produce a viable off-spring; even though she was married and had three healthy and reportedly happy children. The stalker was concerned that the victim was getting too old to produce a child. The reporter was amazed, when I explained this type of request in some form or another does transpire in other stalking consults I have conducted, more often than she would imagine.

Another thing she brought up that about a year or so before the stalker had been arrested he had once again found the victim and her family, and knocked on her front door demanding to talk to her. He was successfully turned away; reportedly not seen at the residence again. The victim and her family then decided to move to another location. As they were packing their property for the move, the victim found a receipt with the stalker’s name and signature on same placed in the bottom of one of her clothing drawers. Obviously, this caused the victim extreme fear and emotional distress. After she reported this information and turned over the item to the agency handling her case, a charge of burglary was added to the suspect’s stalking charges.

Why, one might ask, the stalker didn’t take anything that they were aware of. However, he did enter the victim’s residence without her permission, and in this case without her knowledge. In most states, burglary is defined in general as entering any four-walled structure with the intent to commit grand or petty theft or any other felony. The stalker entered the victim’s residence for the purposes of stalking, in this situation, a felony; therefore burglary applies.

Stalkers oftentimes will enter into a victim’s residence for a variety of reasons, primarily, to find out as much about the victim as possible. They may take items as trophies, to both generate their fantasy about the victim and in many cases cause her fear and emotional distress. Many will leave messages or other items that let’s the victim know they had violated their space. In this victim’s case a signed receipt. Others will damage property; especially items that mean something to the victim. This is why we file burglary charges on the stalker. Remember, the more felony charges we can attach to the stalker, the longer they stay incarcerated.

Just so you know, the stalker was convicted of three counts of aggravated stalking and is looking at a possible sentence of fifteen years.

Silent Stalkers

Christina Grimmie’s recent appalling death at the hands of a stalker; although less prevalent than most types of stalking needs to be addressed because with the amount of information generated by social media those of us in the business fear, more of this type of stalking is going to raise its ugly head. For lack of a better term, we have decided to refer to this variety of stalker as Silent. From incidents that we have reviewed, most of these individuals have self esteem issues, and don’t posses the requisite social skills to develop a relationship with many individuals in their lives; let alone the target they unfortunately satiate on. They oftentimes sit by themselves in their rooms searching the Internet in the hopes of gathering any bit of information they can on their target. They may develop digital diaries concerning their target laying out their feelings towards them, as well as what they are or would like to do to them, some may even post this information.  Silent stalkers, are just that, they rarely if ever generate any kind of contact with their target; even though in some cases the stalker may go to the same school, or other areas they may both frequent in their community. In the case of Christina’s stalker he truly felt that Christina and he had a connection; even to the point of being together. (Dr. Kris Mohandie, whom I know & respect, stated he believed the stalker exhibited a form of Erotomanic delusional disorder). If you saw the recent 48 special on stalking where Grimmie’s case was one of those profiled, her stalker, who never contacted her, did present unusual and strange behavior, causing one fellow employee to report same to a supervisor resulting in no action being taken. You know what “they” say, it is the quiet ones you have to look out for. So folks, if you see someone who seems to be directing an overabundance of strange or what could be described as delusional attention towards another, celebrity or not, please take the time to alert someone. Just remember, there are those among us that lurk, but don’t alert. 

If I can’t Have You, No One Else Will, is an ongoing issue!

When I first began working stalkers in 1991, I began hearing from the victims of certain stalkers, that their pursuers had uttered this phrase on more than one occasions; “If I can’t have you no one else will.” When we continued our investigations into these particular stalkers, we found that they had developed tunnel vision towards their targets and exhibited an extreme fixation for their prey.

Recently, after teaching a group of victim advocates, D.A.’s and law enforcement at a venue sponsored by the Community Action Partnership of Madera County, [Located in Central California], managed by Tina Rodriguez, MA., I found that Tina, who conducts domestic violence workshops at both a California Women’s Facility, were many of the most violent inmates are housed, (of which I can attest to having one of the most predatory females I’ve ever arrested housed there) as well as a prison for men, had been conducting research on both domestic violence related cases including stalking. She advised that so far she had conducted interviews with twenty-nine male inmates. Out of those twenty-nine, she interviewed four that had murdered their targets. She stated these particular four showed no indication of remorse and made comments to the effect that now that she/their victim,  was gone they would not have to worry about her being with anyone else. She also found that they were resolved to being incarcerated, and actually felt at peace knowing they no longer had to keep thinking about  not being with the females they killed. Tina also indicated that even though there had been at least some law enforcement intervention in three out of the four cases, the suspects were so obsessed that they continued on until they had made their kills. She advised that “all four had some type of personality disorder” and described an intense “preoccupation” with their targets.  She noted that they all seem to fixate on two specific strategies on how to lure their victims closer “and how to kill them if they declined” their advances.

Tina said that she is “currently compiling a list of questions for female inmates, and has observed thus far a common theme of disassociation in these women and an eagerness to gravitate towards violence,” as well.