Threat of suicide, a tool used by some stalkers

Remember, we advised you that there are all types of stalkers. They have a variety of tools in their arsenals to promote their cause. One of which is the threat of suicide. Most often we see this in your domestic violence/intimate partner stalking. Now just as a little background as a detective with over thirty-three years on the job, thirteen years in homicide I have worked a variety of death cases, I have seen a great deal of completed as well as attempt suicides. These range from hangings, (my partner and I have had guys hang themselves from a basketball hoop, use an electrical chord that they wrapped around a rafter beam, used a belt in a jail cell) self-inflected gunshot (too many to describe, however we have seen people use rifles, handguns, and a variety of shotguns, even homemade devices to get the job done), poisoning, asphyxiation, wrist cutting, etc. In fact, the first death I ever handled as a rookie was a woman who dressed herself to the nines, went into her garage, shut her garage door, plugged in her vacuum hose to her VW’s exhaust, closed all the windows in her car after running the hose into same, put on her favorite radio station, turned on the ignition and went on her last sleep on this earth.

We understand that many troubled people including those that are young and perhaps bullied, abused, or have other extreme stresses in their lives resort to taking that life because they see no end in sight to their pain. (As you are probably aware, an inordinate amount of teens do take their own lives many because for reasons I just described, but also because they lack or have not developed the coping mechanisms necessary to survive their overwhelming feelings of despair.) That is always tragic; however, what those people tend to forget is that once they are gone, they are gone. Those that are left behind then must bear the burden pain and sorrow.

Then you have the class of individual that decides to kill others prior to committing suicide. We hate that. Our outlook is, if you are going to kill yourself and for whatever reason you can’t be talked out of it, then do it, but don’t take anyone else with you. Those of you who are reading my blog must understand that homicide detectives  tend to have a little different slant on life.  There was one period of time when we had a slew of murder/suicides, some done by stalkers, some done by others. I used to write programs for the office of the chief, due to my background in education and business along with my other duties. Therefore I decided to write a special training program for those (especially the criminal element) we believe might become the perpetrators of this type of scenario.  Most all my fellow coppers thought it was a great solution to the problem, but my commander stopped it from getting to the chief’s office. I can’t really describe it here, but it is discussed on page 492 of The Duck and The DCO by Damion Kane, (the book they wrote about our exploits). My partner and I were heavily involved in strange solutions to criminal activity; oftentimes they were heavily laced with a great deal of cop humor.

As for our title Suicide, a tool used by some stalkers. We have seen stalkers threaten their targets with, “if you don’t get back with me, I will kill myself.” Although there are those that think that might be a viable solution to the stalking victim’s problem, this does cause many stalking victims to actually return to their stalker. Then you have the stalker who goes into the garage, and turns on his car with the garage door shut; knowing full well that he will be found by his target just before he succumbs to the fumes. Some will make superficial wounds to their arms, just enough to draw blood, etc. Once again, this is another tool in the stalker’s arsenal. Something to be aware of when and if you are in a stalking scenario. Over the course of this blog we will discuss other tools of their trade.

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